They should really pass out barf bags in church
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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