garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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