i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i've created a new STD.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
