He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
May the power of my ass compel you!!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
