Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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