I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
