youre lurking in front of me
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
