Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
