I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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