Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
