What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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