I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
