dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
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