God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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