I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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