I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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