So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
He has the fingertips of a God
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