I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
