I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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