can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Come share oat with me in your robe
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
