this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
