doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
