He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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