who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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