I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize