I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
