adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She bit a glass in half.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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