I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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