I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
