Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
