To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
