I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
