Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
