the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
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I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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