I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
