Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
