I can tuck mytits in my pants
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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