i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
They took my balls.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
