Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
