doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
