I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
