The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
