Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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