We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
