he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
