yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
