I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
