im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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