no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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