then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
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Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
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But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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