she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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