I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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