I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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