she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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