she woke up with a sticky ear
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
