nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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