my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
