It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
