Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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