If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
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So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
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I just want nice things and good sex
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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