My friends, they love my intelligence
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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