So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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