This dress was meant to end up on your floor
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain