Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.