I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today