i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
