is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach