It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
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Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
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Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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