i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
