She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
