i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize