its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
