party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
